wondering

I have got a headache. I guess it is because of mentality. I feel anxious about my English, and I disappointe myself. I know progressing my English is not easy, and I need time to progress my English. I have to be patiant, and I'm too serious about it. However I can't stop thinking about it. Recently I am always comparing my English and other students's. I know I am such a nasty person...

Christmas Carol

My host mother is organizing Christmas Carol Service for children, and they had a practice for it in this afternoon. So I joined in them and sang some Christmas Carol together. It really succeed, all the children enjoyed it, and I could have a nice time as well. However I couldn't understand what they said. They spoke very quickly and unclearly, I have to ask them to repeat again waht they said. Sometimes I felt that they were annoyed with repeating several times for me, their faces let me know about it obviously. I was very upset and anxious. I'm sure that my English is still terrible, it was a good occasion to know about it.

Library

I went to library with Daria. it was my first time to go there. It is in city centre where is very unexpected place, I have never thought that the library was there. I studied there for 6 hours. There were many international student who was studying English. I found that it was easy to concentlate to study than studying in my room. I decided to buy some grammer book for studying there.

Local conversation

Today, I had a afternoon tea with Yuriko. She is Japanese and she is working in Cambridge in the group from the church like Annie. Surpprisingly she live in Saitama city in Japan, and I found that she live quite close to my house! So we could talk about our city a lot, and we felt very funny, because we live quite near in Japan but we didn't know each other and we met in Cambridge, moreover we were talking about our city in English. "Do you know SEIYU which located near from Yono station?" "Yes, I know! It is on the 17-go road, right?" "Which sation do you usually use?" "I use Naka-Urawa station or Urawa station." "Really? I use Yono station or Yono-honmachi station!" I have never thought I would have such a local conversation in Cambridge!

True or False

Do you believe that Jesus was raised from deth? My host father asked me so. Actually I'm not sure about it, I couldn't reply him. Logically it is impossible, all the creature can't raise from deth. I thought whether to believe is the most important for Christianity faith. They don't need to explain it logically, it is impossible to prove God to be existing logically. When we ask ourselves whether to believe something, we don't need to think it with our brain, we have to think about it with our heart.

How to become Christian

In the VISA course, we studied about how to become Cristian. Of course, they never beg me to become Christian. We just thought about it. They taught me Christianity's "ABCD". "A" represents "admit". When they become Christian, they have to admit that they are sin, they have done something wrong, something bad. "B" means "believe". Believing Jesus is the most important for Christianity, also they said to me that believing something is very hard, and difficult for us. "C" represents "confess". Being Christian must not be secret, they have to confess that they believe in Jesus, and they admit that they are sin. "D" replaces "dead". It was the most difficult to understand for me. They have to being thinking Jesus died for our sin, and deth means to be with God.

I’m tired

More and more students is giving up not speaking mother tongue. Now, most of students speaks their own language freely... But I am still trying to do that. It is not easy. This lunch time, I realised that everyone was speaking their own langeage except me. Joanne talked with Carina in Taiwanese, Marve talked with another Turkish student in Turkish, Minjeong, Jack, John talked with in Korean, Kaori, Reiko, Maiko talked with in Japanese. I felt I seemed to be stupid. I was annoyed with myself. At first, I thought talking in own language was not polite for another country's student, but now, everyone is doing that. Is it implite? Talking in own language is not bad thing, I know. I really love Japanese, but I can't. If I use Japanese once, I can't be satisfy my English expression any more. You know, English expression and Japanese are completely different. Before we speak something in English, we have to construct sentense in English. I might be too strict. But...you know, I'm not such a clever person, I can't control my switch very well. Actually, I'm tired to avoid Japanese... "I have to do that, I can do that"